Ian (ianthegecko) wrote,

  • Mood:

om nom nom nom

I have an odd relationship with food.

I enjoy eating. It's fun.

But my body doesn't seem to agree with me 100%. When I sit down to a meal, I'm often not very hungry. Well, actually, even though my stomach feels hungry, often my mind doesn't feel that same drive to eat. There's a disconnect here. And sometimes if I'm not eating very much or very fast, I can still start to gag & dry heave. Of course, it happens way more often when I'm trying to eat faster or bigger.

I can't always eat slowly, but if I need to eat more to gain weight, I need to eat faster. How do I do that without triggering my gag reflex, even when I haven't been feeling stressed?

I know people say that working out helps work up a good appetite, but in my experience I can't recall feeling hungry after a workout. Maybe lifting doesn't do it and cardio does, I dunno.

To put things in perspective, I came across this BMI calculator that compares your BMI with your country and the rest of the world. At 5'8 & 120 pounds (clothed; nude I'm about 116), my BMI is about 2 pounds underweight at 18. That puts me at a lower BMI than 98% of US males aged 15-29, and I'm most like someone from the Democratic Republic of Congo.

I don't know what to make of that. I should be grateful to live in a country where food is so abundant, but instead I complain about not being able to eat enough when billions, if not hundreds of millions, of people around the world don't eat enough!

Lord, have mercy on me.

Maybe instead of presents for Christmas, I'll ask people to donate to organizations that feed the poor and hungry. I myself give to the Denver Rescue Mission when I can.

Between prayers, I should probably tak to my doc about this. Early last year we discussed my indigestion; a friend of mine told me about a simple baking soda remedy for that and the scope test revealed a normal GI tract all the way through.

Psychologically, I think it may have something to do with a fear of vomiting. I'm afraid because it's gross, extremely unpleasant, and often agers the people who worked to make that food (at least it angered my dad a LOT when I was growing up). I'll need to think about that more. And pray about it, too.

P.S. I didn't get much feedback from the people who I sent that script draft to. If you're interested, let me know, but I'd REALLY like some constructive criticism on it since I don't know what kinds of changes to make to it.
Tags: food
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