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My Last Fast

Well, I broke the 3 calendar days of my fast by going to check FFC and YouTube last night, but it had been a little over 72 hours since the last time I was online.

I didn't pray as much as I should have, but after talking with a couple friends it seems like I need to uninstall 2 of my browsers since they don't have as much protection from stuff I shouldn't be looking at as the other one. My inferiority complex did kick in at work, definitely exacerbating things, but I kept myself from...going too far, shall we say.

I'm not trying to beat myself up here, but I really do need to be better as these fasts and breaks that I impose on myself. No matter how much I choose to avoid sources of possible temptation, it's pretty much useless without filling that empty time and energy with prayer and quiet time. To borrow from an old story, starving the bad dog isn't enough for the good dog to win; you have to feed the good dog until it's strong.

Here's hoping I can be strong again and get stronger day by day.

Two things.

1. After some thought and prayer I have decided to take a 3-day Internet fast beginning tomorrow. Got some issues in my life that might benefit from it. If you really need to get a hold of me, call or text me.

2. literary_equine inspired me to do a fun little creative writing exercise: fictional memories of how I met various friends. Let me know if you'd like to volunteer and I'll see what I can come up with!

Vlog #4

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It's a small world after all...

I don't think I ever realized how small the world really is before I found the furry subculture.

Last night, I went over to a new furiend's house; as I looked at his Steam friends, I found 3 whom I knew: one from FFC, one from RMFC, and the furr I met in Cedar last year (BTW, his brother has the same furname as another FFC friend). Zim's a cool guy, but I just wish he'd stop trying to make me one of his "pets"---which isn't as creepy as it sounds; they're just furrs in his "pack". We cuddled, talked, and watched Big Bang Theory as well as this new show called "Touch", which is about a 9/11 widower whose son can see patterns in all kinds of things and ends up intertwining peoples' lives. It's really gripping; same guy who created "Heroes" created it.

We really want to get a meet going, even if it'd just be among the small pawful of us in Logan and we get pizza at Fox's; we'd have to go to a bigger place for an all-Northern Utah meet. Whatever we do, meeting furrs in a new place is always fun.

Work's been keeping me pretty busy, and paint-covered, lately. I need to remember to take my new camera along and get some pictures of some things I've been working on, along with another vlog giving a tour of Logan. Today for lunch we had Papa John's and watched "Plan 9 from Outer Space", all thanks to the electrics crew. Tech starts in a week; once again it'll be time for 12-hour days of wearing all black, moving stuff, and waiting for things to happen. This weekend we're having a bonfire up in the mountains...I dunno if people are bringing food, cuz that'd be awesome and I'm broke. I need to get a sleeping bag and reload those geocaches, since somehow only 20 got loaded. I guess I could just clear all the other ones off of it.

Emotionally, I've been all over the place. Excited to be working in my major field again; apprehensive about funds; trying to let go of some bitterness; missing lots of friends (including ones I've never met in person); fluctuating levels of inferiority; hoping something will pan out in this job search...

oh, and I have a new addiction: the Facebook version of the trivia game "You Don't Know Jack". I'm up to level 10 and trying to get my friends to play. I need to be careful and not spend all my extra money on Facebook Gold for more episodes, cuz money's already tight enough as it is. Now that my old Domino's has my new address, I should hopefully get my final paycheck in the mail soon. I got my paycheck today, about $200 and change! :D

Anyhoooo.....that's it, I think.

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Badge Idea

I had an idea while painting some set pieces today. 
If I get good at drawing, I'd like to make conbadges in the style of icons of various saints, like the full-page picture I did of my 'sona as St. John the Baptist. You could get one that matches your/your fursona's namesake or just a saint whom you admire.
I'm thinking 3x5", $20 apiece. Again, it's just a thought, since I'd have to get much better at drawing animal heads.

Video Blog #3

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I have a vlog now!

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Voice Post

VoicePost
113K 0:40
“Hey everyone!

Just wanted to let you all know I made it safely and soundly, no problems. Left my place a little after 6 and got here at about 4:30. So had a ltitle bit of dinner, then just kinda chill the rest of the night because I'm REALLY tired.

Couldn't get Internet set up in my place yet even though they have the instrucitons and all that, so I'm gunna try to get it figured out later this week, but I thought I would get this little voice post for everybody, so I hope see some of you online pretty soon so l8er bye!”

Transcribed by: thump

FAQs About My Move

1. Wait, you're moving?

Yes!

2. Where and when?

Logan, Utah. This Sunday.

3. Ewwwww, Utah? Why?

I got a summer internship building scenery at an opera & musical theatre festival there.

4. So wait...Are you a Mormon?

No, and I don't plan on becoming one.

5. Why aren't you staying in Denver?

I didn't get any job offers here.

6. You're coming back, right?

Yes, my contract is up on August 16th.

7. What's after this job?

Still working on that. There's a chance I'll be going back to Cedar City for the fall season of the Utah Shakespeare Festival, but I might end up at the Denver Center Theatre Company.

8. OK........seriously, Utah?

YES! Sheesh, it's only one state away, although I have to drive through Wyoming to get to Logan.

Selling stuff on eBay

Hey furs,

I've decided to sell some of the shirts I've received working on local crews for concerts here. So far I've put up 4 of them for sale but I might dig around to see if I want to sell any other ones.

You can take a look here!

A Wiggly Week

Man, this week was crazy.

On Sunday I went to the Rockies game with a couple friends from college. We drank super-local beer--like, brewed AT Coors Field--and purple margaritas, and ate chocolate covered bacon. Except for Todd Helton's grand slam with a full count at the bottom of the 8th, the game itself wasn't very exciting. It went into 2 extra innings, though. After that we went to The 1-Up for a bit, then Rocket Fizz. I played some games for a while but didn't have enough money for Rocket Fizz. I really need to start trying the root beers there.

Tuesday was quite busy; I had a load-in for a gig at Pepsi Center at 9am then the load-out at 11pm. I'd hoped to get in a good power nap between shifts, but my plan failed miserably; I mustn't have gotten more than 45 minutes of sleep, so I got up and dinked around on my computer for a while. Good thing I wasn't scheduled at Domino's. Load-out was done at 2, and I got home about 45 minutes later after giving a coworker a ride home since he was on the way. I managed to crash, then slept for about 4 hours before getting up at 7:30 for my morning Domino's shift. Surprisingly, I didn't have any problems like nodding off the whole day, not even during my workout!

My last delivery on Thursday morning was to Regis High School; unlike the other schools, where I deliver to the cafeteria and get paid 10 cents per pie, this was a set of office orders: 1 in the girls' division and 2 in the boys' division (it's a private, Jesuit high school). I ended up making $34 in tips from them, and combined with my mileage from the other orders I had, I made $43 that morning! I deposited $40 of that plus $10 I had from the night before and used it to buy some new work pants for Logan. Once I get those in, I can start organizing and packing for the move; my plan is to take MUCH less than last year and store a bunch of stuff at my Dad's. Ironically, I only made $30 during my evening shift. :p

Today (or yesterday, almost) I went into work at Kohl's only to find out during my break that I wasn't scheduled to work at all. Last week, my page in the schedule binder was missing and I didn't bother to go in and check on any of my off-days, so I just assumed I'd be on truck. Turns out that one of the guys who was scheduled was a no-show, so I pretty much covered his shift and worked 7 hours. Hey, works for me! I needed the money, but I could have gone to AuroraFurs right after Domino's and actually slept in on a Friday morning for the first time in weeks. Ah well, I'll pop in on the eve of my last Kohl's shift 2 weeks from now and say my hellos and byes. I miss that group so much; I've even made some new friends there since I first came back from Utah.

The weekend shall consist of laundry, work, the "Sherlock" series 2 premiere on Sunday, and probably some of that preliminary organizing/packing. In some self-image news, I drove home from work barepaw and shirtless twice this week; it's also cuz the weather's been really hot for spring lately, but I'm starting to like it. I'm feeling more confident and less self-conscious about my body, which I'm really glad of. Wearing a sleeveless shirt, though, still feels a bit awkward, but I'm sure that over time I'll get used to it. Can't wait to have my own pair of beefy arms.

EDIT: It got derpier. On Saturday I was half an hour EARLY for work; I had to clock back out so I hung around Sprouts for a while. Then when I was driving home I realized that I'd left one of the store's pizza bags in my car; I made a U-turn, dropped it off, and as soon as I got home I made some Sleepytime Extra and called it a night.

Maybe my abundance of derp was from my lack of sleep, or maybe it was cuz I was an otter for Species Change Week. Either way, I'm glad this week's over.

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Here, have an earworm.

You can all hate me now. :p

iFast

I lately seem to have relapsed into my Internet addiction. Instead of spending my free time playing guitar, reading, getting fresh air, and other productive things, I've mostly been online trying to find friends to talk to since I can't seem to arrange very much real-life hangout time. I'm back in the habits of staying up later than I should (lol, like right now :3) and worrying about the next post that someone will make in a heated thread or new developments in some Internet...guh, why can't I find a better word than "drama" to describe it? It cheapens the original meaning of the word, I think, but maybe that's just cuz I'm a theatre guy. A black-collar worker, if you will.

Anyway...online hoopla? That'll do.

I got so fed up with things in general that I spent Thursday entirely offline. Didn't even turn on my computer; I worked a split shift, watched TV, got my car fixed, hung out with my furiend Dart, and bought Stephen's birthday present at Hot Topic. It felt pretty nice, actually. I should do it more often. Maybe Sunday, since I have Rockies tickets! That'll be nice. Sunshine, baseball, and Blue Moon=happy gecko. ^.=.^

Over the course of the past few weeks, in preparation for my move to Logan, I've been building a map of essential places there: restaurants, non-LDS churches, grocery stores, post office, thrift stores, etc. Looking pretty good. I still need to decide just how much stuff to take there, just that it'll be MUCH less than last year, perhaps even less than I took to Tom's place. Now that I actually have a car, a lot of things will be easier, but I'm thinking about getting a bike for geocaching and cardio. Also need to buy some black carpenter pants for show nights.

I'm thinking about having another going-away party next month, only this time it'll be at some of my favorite places downtown, mostly around 16th. Toasted subs, improv, gelato, and barcade action. Yeah-yuh!

That's about it for now. Time for bed.

Good news

It's not as bad as I thought; turns out I just need a new front right axle, and the Subie place quoted me $25 less than Brakes Plus. I still want to find a car-minded friend to do it for cheaper.

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Not again...

I went to get Kanga's oil changed cuz it was about that time, and the coupon I had included a free diagnostic.

They recommended about $400 in services, mostly brake stuff. My brakes have been just fine; I'm even trying not to hard-brake since my Progressive Snapshot revealed that I do that a lot. So I'll get a second opinion from the guy who did the head gaskets a couple months ago.

If I do need all that work, I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe I'll get lucky and find either some sweet coupons from the brake place or an amazing deal from the Subie guys.

Whatever happens, remember this: I never closed pop art and chiptune commissions. ;)

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lol, GEICO

Get this. My car insurance policy renews next month, and I was wondering if I could get a cheaper rate with GEICO instead of Progressive, which I have now. I got a quote online then played a bit of phone tag with my local office before finding out that by staying with Progressive I'd pay about $25 to $30 a month less than if I switched to GEICO, even with the 2 points I have on my license.

Turns out that younger drivers are a huge market for Progressive, so they have really low rates. Once I turn 25, though, a policy through GEICO would be about $90 a month.

So yeah, as a gecko, I don't have GEICO. :p

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PURPLE! and other thoughts.

It's opening week for the Rockies! I bought a new hat at Kohl's to celebrate. They won Friday (bunch of us at Kohl's wore Rockies stuf), lost last night and as I type this they're winning 2-1. Tomorrow's the home opener; I won't be able to go, but I have a coupon for 4 tickets for $14 each! Would love to go on a Sunday or Tuesday since I have those days off from Domino's.

I applied for a fall stagehand job at the Denver Center; hopefully it'll start after my UFOMT contract ends, cuz that'll be a nice & smooth transition. Turns out that Pat will be leaving the Navy earlier than we thought, so I won't have that little Vegas/San Diego road trip I was going to plan to go see him leave his ship, and instead I'll just come back home. If I get this job, of course. I'll have to wait a little longer to hear from Oregon and Utah Shakespeare Festivals for the fall season (if Oregon even changes any tech crews in the fall...), but I think I have a good chance at Utah despite them having a new tech director.

This year for Lent, I gave up FurAffinity & deviantART, going so far as to block them using OpenDNS so that I couldn't get onto them from any browser on my computer. I had hoped that doing so would help kill my obsessions with wanting to be big and looking at pictures of guys I wanted to look like, no matter how unrealistic or fantastic. I even started lifting again so I could get back in shape and start gaining weight.

Sadly, I failed a number of times. I found that I could still look at thumbnails of some things on Google Image Search; I also found myself watching muscle growth, weight gain & inflation videos on YouTube from time to time. I again felt worthless being weak, skinny and single, plus I neither increased my Bible reading nor my guitar playing as I'd wanted to.

I missed the mark of perfection a lot, sometimes going way off from the target.

"Missing the mark" is the translation of the New Testament Greek word for "sin". It's setting yourself up with good intentions and failing at the execution. Seeing the finish line, how things are supposed to be, and trying to get there your way instead of the path that God laid out for you.

Yet the theme of the sermons that my church's pastor gave during Lent was grace: "God loves you, and there's nothing you can do about it." He loved me on days when everything went right. He loved me when I failed miserably. He loved me when things weren't great but not terrible. He reached out His hand to pick me me up, dust me off, and lead me on the right path again.

I think that God used this year's Lent to remind me that I'm so weak in trying to go through life and fight my battles entirely on my own. I can't do it---I need God's power and grace!

But He already have it to me. He already won the battle around this time of year almost 2000 years ago on a hill nicknamed The Skull, letting His people nail Him to a cross and bearing the punishment for my sins and yours and yours and yours and yours. And then He rose from the dead 3 days later!

There is life after death. There is hope after sorrow. There is grace in darkness.

Driving and such

I paid off my speeding ticket by credit card over the phone a couple days ago; I set aside cash from my daily tips, then deposited it all at the credit union and called the city of Centennial to get it done. The 2 points will be on my license for 12 months, so I hope I don't get into any more trouble for quite a while; one of my tail lights is out...gotta get that taken care of pretty soon.

I'm getting excited for the move to Logan next month, which reminds me that I need to start saving for gas for the trip out there. If prices keep going up..well, I'll just have to save quite a lot. The quickest way to get there would involve driving on I-80 through Wyoming, which I've done and it's the most boring stretch of road ever. Worse than US-83 through Nebraska. If I take I-70 to US-40 and then north to I-80, I'd at least get to see the beautiful Rocky Mountains, but I'd still have to suffer looking at Wyoming's lovely dirt and tumbleweeds. Logan's too far north for me to take I-70 through Colorado and then I-15 north.

I also need to save up for some new work clothes; I'm fine on long-sleeved black shirts for working backstage, but I need some new pants. 3 brown (for the scene shop) and 3 black (for stage ninja-ness) pairs of these Dickies should do just fine, I think.

I'm missing Cedar City; suddenly, there's something nostalgic about walking along 300 South past the Randall to the Adams on a beautifully sunny day. I won't get to be there for the summer so I'm hoping that if I don't get a job at Ashland or either of the first shows of the Denver Center season, I can go back to Utah. Maybe I'll see some familiar faces from last year!

Whatever I get after the Logan internship, I really hope that this (my THIRD!) move out from my mom's will be permanent. Theatre jobs aren't, and I learned some very valuable lessons for the couple and a half months that I lived at Salem's place. I hope that I won't make any past mistakes again, but equally importantly, I want to stay out of the nest. I know the economy still sucks, but I'm an adult now. An adult who could pass for 16, but has eye bags of a guy twice that age; good thing my glasses cover them up so well. I just don't want to live with my mom anymore--no offense!

AnomalyCon on Sunday was really fun! I was one of many Doctors, plus there was a TARDIS:

I enjoyed seeing most of the people there in costume, hanging out with Kyrene and Salem, and going to a couple neat panels. And that new candy and soda shop, Rocket Fizz! Definitely need to go back there and try all the different root beers there! Being back in the Tivoli was cool, too; it was the longest time I've spent on campus since I graduated.

I think I want to read The Time Machine now, but I don't know where to go from there as far as steampunk lit goes. Maybe some of my more gear and clock and balloon-minded friends can help me out. :p

A Bit of Lead in my Paw (or maybe iron)

The other day as I was driving home from Domino's, I got clocked doing 53 in a 40 zone. $100 fine and 2 points (4 if I take it to court) on my license, so I know where a good chunk of my tip money before April 10 is gonna go (after gas). Really need to be careful driving anywhere now; I've been quite vigilant the past couple days. So if you're driving on Smoky Hill Road, don't go over 40. 

Looks like I got Sundays off from Kohl's, which is great. I really need that day of rest; this is my 2nd straight week working all 7 days at either or both of my jobs. Yeah, I won't be making as much money, but with March Madness I've been getting more deliveries and tips at night, so it's cool. This coming Sunday afternoon I'll be at AnomalyCon, a steampunk convention at the Tivoli downtown. My friend ZarJaMar went last year; he dressed up as the 10th Doctor, so it only makes sense that I should wear my 11th Doctor costume. :p Next week I'll also have Tuesday off, so...hang time!

I started working out again this week; I joined the new Bally Sport on the other side of I-225, where Circuit City used to be. The first day was Monday, when I had a free personal training session. Looks like I have really good form on my lifts, just need to keep my chest up on my squats and deadlifts. Next day was yesterday, and I rocked it out. BTW, that site Fitocracy is AWESOME for tracking your workouts cuz you get points and level up for all the different things you do. It's really made working out fun again, which I'm glad for.



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